Update on Depression

Today is Day 11 of Lexapro. The doctor said that at a minimum I might maybe be able to tell a difference on Day 10.

Maybe I'm imagining things, but today is less gloomy.

Who cares if I'm imagining it?! Bring on the less gloomy!

I always compared myself to the TV ads (because, you know, TV is such a true reflection of reality) about depression meds and thought, "That's not me. I don't feel like a nobody, I don't sit on the couch all day. I get out. I do things. I don't want to do things, but I do them." But there was always a gloominess to my days. A heaviness on my shoulders. A "another day of this??" type of attitude.

Day 11 has not magically changed everything. But I see some light shooting through the gloominess. :-) Bring it on!

And the Diagnosis Is...

Anxiety and depression.

Which, really, explains a helluva lot.

My OB/GYN tried to tell me this last year. I didn't want to hear what he had to say because there was no reason for me to be depressed. I have a wonderful family, beautiful house, and am surrounded by loving family and friends.

But this time around, I understood. This is not a choice I make. It's chemical.

This time, I felt relieved to hear him say Depression. It made all the other pieces fall into place. I am NOT going crazy. I am NOT a bad mom. I just, well, I have issues.

And now that I am willing to own up to that, I can deal with it. He's started me on Lexapro. He said it should take a minimum of 10 days for it to work. I'm on Day #5.

My sleep pattern is now off: I wake up at 4 a.m. and have a really hard time getting back to sleep. A friend suggested I get up and write. She says it's a creative time for her, that early in the morning.

Good idea.

I'll keep you posted.