Off With Her Hair!

In the calm and thoughtful way of parents everywhere, I threatend my youngest this morning. Oh, nothing as terrible as bodily harm or time outs.

I threatened to cut her hair.

Amanda is 4 and half. She must do everything herself, including "brushing" her hair before school. I'm a good mom: I've modeled the correct way to brush hair. I've done it for her, then allowed her to do it. I've brushed my hair as she brushes hers. And during all these training sessions she does a good job. Not great, but passable for a 4 year old. Good enough to go out the door and be seen by the world.

But when she goes to the bathroom, by herself, to brush her hair, (and sometimes attempt to put a clip in) she comes out looking worse than when she went in. Her hair is sticking up at odd angles because she has brushed it the wrong direction. Or she has put a clip in, to clip her bangs out of her face (she is growing out her bangs, but that's a story for another blog, another day). The clip is usually holding 3 strands of hair, still falling in her face, and will fall out by the time we get to school.

Today, it was just not working. I asked if I could re-do the clip for her, so it would hold more hair out of her face. "NO!" she shrieked. I left the room, because, frankly, I don't do shrieking.

She follows me, suddenly in tears. "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. MOM. I want you to fix my hair. Yes. Please." More tears.

I tell her that I do not want to help someone who is shrieking at me and crying and using a whiney voice.
"But I'm nooooooot whiiiiiiining," she whines.

I'll spare you the rest of the story. Let's pick up where we're in bathroom, me brushing her hair.

"Ow! You hurt me. Stop doing my hair!" she yells (Amanda has two volumes, off and LOUD). She runs out of the bathroom, suddenly in tears, and I put the brush down and follow her to the kitchen, where she is still in tears and gathering her things for school.

"Amanda, if this is how you're going to behave, I'm taking you to the salon to get your hair cut short again. Even though you don't want to." My lands, I'm theatening my child with chopping her hair off.

Her eyes grow huge as she remembers the last time we went to the salon and had her hair chopped off. That time it was a mutual aggreement between us. As soon as her locks were on the floor, she cried. She has never liked her short hair. I, on the other hand, loved it because there was NO maintenance. Some days we didn't even have to brush it. No clips to worry about, no bows, no brush.

That was May, it's November now and her hair is long again. I know there is no way I'll ever be able to get her into the salon, or into the chair, to get her hair chopped off again. But I'm at the point where I'm willing to try.

Off with her hair!