Trying to reconcile life and religion

I'm still wrestling with the whole church issue. We've quit going to church and are much happier for it. No rushing around, no fussing at the kids, no stress. Actually, over the summer, we've been going to the pool at 10 am on Sunday mornings and we've had such sweet family time.

I want to write about two books that have led me to this point-that's for another time, but I will do it.

The way the rest of the world experiences God is so vastly different than the way we do in America. Is the rest of the world wrong? Most churches would have you believe so. Worship and belief has to be structured in a certain way, thought of in a certain way, and lived out in a certan way. Otherwise, you're doing the God-thing wrong.

Most of our church friends don't understand us anymore. They don't know how to carry on a conversation with us, since we are no longer "church people." They ask if we've found another church. We say "No,and we're not looking." Then silence. Can they only relate to people who are in church? That's NOT how it's supposed to be.

Do I know how it's supposed to be? No. I only know they way we've been doing it isn't right.

Is it right to preach the Great Commandment (Love one another) then turn around and tell homosexuals they're not allowed in your church? No.

Is it right to tell people they can only come to God one way and it has to be the way their denomination believes? Look at others around the world and they will tell you differently.

My church friends tell me to have more quiet times, to pray more, to listen to Christian music or to read Christian books. I'll find the answers there, they say. Oh really? I've read A TON of Christian books (fiction and nonfiction), I've been a quiet time Nazi, I've lain prostrate on the floor in prayer. I've been there. I've done that. And it wasn't right. It was me following a plan that man put together to show his devotion to God.

Do you know how I show love and devotion to God? I love my kids. I love my husband. I help my friends. I'm nice to strangers. Could I be doing more? Yes. Should I be doing more? Yes. Have I reconciled that? No.

It's in the living that matters, not in the religous rites.