After the birth of The Princess, I slipped into Post-partum depression. Months and months later, after trying various drugs and therapies, I thought I was "cured". Better, so to speak. I got on with the every day routine of having 2 kids to care for, and a sweet, hard working husband.
But I couldn't lose the extra baby weight from the last pregnancy. I tried running and although I was successful (by my standards, not anyone else's) I didn't like it. Too hard on my knees, and honestly, it's boring. And I wasn't losing weight.
I tried a personal trainer for 6 months. We only met twice a week, and while she was good, it wasn't what I needed.
And still, I hated my body. It was a constant thought of mine-how overweight I was. It did not occur to me at the time, but I was fairly obsessive about it, which is not normal. Not normal at all. I went to bed every night thinking how I hated the way my pj's didn't fit like they used to, and I woke up every morning, thinking what am I going to wear that fits? It took Scott to point out to me that my obsessing was not healthy, or normal. That bit of advice, however correct he was, was not well received.
It took several trips to the OB/GYN before I realized what he had been telling me all along: I was depressed and I needed to be on meds. So I started on Lexapro.
And an amazing thing happened: I was interested in life again. I was able to start something and finish it. I wasn't so moody and angry all the time. Now, this wasn't an overnight change. It has taken months.
How does all of this fit into my triathlon training? I was ready to begin exercising again, and I wanted to do something other than running (whether on the treadmill or outside on the trail). Now that I had "me" back (welcome back, me!) I was ready to try something new and challenging.
The opportunity came up for me to join a group of friends who were training for their first (or second) triathlon. We were provided with a 12 week exercise guide and I jumped in. It was intimidating at first, as my friends are the type of people who enjoy running marathons. I enjoy sitting on the sidelines and cheering on the marathoners.
I discovered that I love to swim. In the beginning, it was my worst event of the three (swimming, biking, and running) but now it is my best and my favorite. I have worked my way up to 1200 yards at a time during practice. 1200 yards, people! I could barely finish half a lap when I first started!! Look at me! I have accomplished something and I like it!!
The bike leg is now my worst event, but I'm working on it. I think most of it is mental: I get out there on the road by myself in a race and I start telling myself how tired I am, how windy it is, how hilly the road is.
Physically, I can do a sprint triathlon. Mentally, I'm still working on parts of it.
I'm currently training for my third triathlon. It has even crossed my mind that m a y b e next summer I could try an Olympic triathlon (longer distances than a Sprint).
I have not lost much weight (which can be very distressing if I let it be) but I have toned up and slimmed down. I've lost a dress size, and now feel so much more confidence in myself.
I'm a triathlete! Me! The one who was so terrible in sports in high school. I held the title of "Benchwarmer" for several years. Me! Who has never ever ever been good at sports, has found something that not only I like, but I'm good at!
Which brings me to karate. I LOVE karate. It requires a lot of practice, but it's so much fun. Karate also led to my latest discovery, which is not so good.
I look like SpongeBob.
Seriously. The karate studio has floor to ceiling windows and I was staring at myself during warm-ups the other day. And I realized that I look like SpongeBob. Large shoulders (swimmer's shoulders), then I taper off. There is no distinguishing waistline--just my yellow karate belt where my waist should be. *sigh*
So, I'll keep training for tris, and hopefully, I'll lose my SpongeBob-ness.
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